


Dying is easy, young man. Living is harder.

by Skiewrites



Series: Haise and Ken [4]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: 1am idea, Angst, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hide is dead, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No Fluff, Oneshot, Or at least thought as dead, Poor Haise, Poor Kaneki, Sad, Short One Shot, Suicide, Tears, Unreliable Narrator, fucked up timeline, poor Hide, super sad, thoughts and feelings, very sad, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 03:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10800972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skiewrites/pseuds/Skiewrites
Summary: To live and to die are the only things there are in the world, and the only thing that goes between them is falling.......It's not Haise's fault that he was without memories, compared to Ken, who had the experience to go along with the treasure he held so deeply within him.It really wasn't his fault.(Who are you trying to convince, me, or you?)(...I'm not sure...)Sometimes, Ken really confuses Haise.Sometimes, Ken really confuses himself.Sometimes heathy rabbits die of loneliness and sometimes dying  centipeds commit cannibalism.





	Dying is easy, young man. Living is harder.

**Author's Note:**

> If you recognise the title, it is a line from the musical Hamilton.

To live.

To accept.

To learn.

To conclude.

To determine.

To decide.

To reflect.

To know.

To think.

 

(Hey, Haise)

 

He really didn't like the rules of the game.

 

(Did you know that centipedes sometimes commit acts of cannibalism and can regenerate legs?)

 

Sasaki took a deep breath and closes his eyes, rolling his shoulders, trying to ease the tension out of them.

 

Ken has it better than Haise, he thinks. He knows.

 

The elder has always had it better than the younger, he reflects. He decides.

 

It wasn't his fault that he woke up like this, that he was born like this. It wasn't his fault that his mind was empty, was a hollow shell, compared with Ken's, richly filled to the brim with lessons and knowledge that would take him years to collect, to gather. It's not Haise's fault that he was without memories, compared to Ken, who had the experience to go along with the treasure he held so deeply within him.

 

It really wasn't his fault.

 

(Who are you trying to convince, me, or you?)

 

(...I'm not sure...)

 

Sometimes, Ken really confuses Haise, he determines, he concludes.

 

The elder has repeatedly confused the younger, he learns. He accepts.

 

His words are of that his actions disagree with; his movements contradict the statements and opinions he has previously whispered quietly into his ear in the dead of night or the loudest and busiest of days. What he says and what he does are two completely different stories.

 

He has to be one of the biggest liars that Haise has ever met?

 

(Is that a question?)

 

(I can't remember meeting everyone. There's probably be someone worse than you?)

 

(You don't sound so sure.)

 

(You sound too sure.)

 

(You know me too well)

 

(...I don't know anything at all.)

 

* * *

 

 

Haise deserves better than himself, he thinks. He knows.

 

The younger always deserved better than the elder, he reflects. He decides.

 

It was Ken's fault that Haise was created, was born, that he ended up like this. It was his fault that Haise's mind was empty, a hollow reflection of what he once was, now created into something he once wished to be, a fickle dream he maybe once had when fantasies could come true. It was Ken's fault that he had the knowledge and experience that Haise wanted, needed, to survive in a world as cruel as the one they lived in and was as unwilling to share as he was, despite his mother's teachings.

 

It really was Ken, who was at fault.

 

(Are you sure you're not the one at fault?)

 

(...Please stop thid Ken, this hurts more than just me...)

 

Sometimes, Ken really confuses more than just Haise, he determines, he concludes.

 

The elder may repeatedly confuse the younger, but he will continuously confuse himself more, he learns, but he doesn't accept.

 

He's not sure if it's his words of actions that are true, if it's his movements that contradict His statements and opinions that he could say on the loudest of days but now struggled to whisper in the dead of night, or was it the other way around? What he says and what he does were now two completely different stories, and he's struggling to tell the difference between fiction and real life.

 

There was no question about it. He truly was the king of fakes.

 

(Can it get any worse than this, Ken?)

 

(No.....)

 

(You don't sound so sure Ken.)

 

Kaneki breathed out, opening his eyes to view the world that was resting on his shoulders.

 

They need to have it better than he did.

 

(Ken?)

 

The others should have always had it better than he did.

 

(Are you listening?)

 

Sometimes, the rules really confuse him.

 

(Ken, Please!)

 

This game has repeatedly confused the half-ghoul.

 

He thinks.

 

(Hey...)

 

He knows.

 

(...You know what?...)

 

He reflects.

 

(...I am the biggest liar you'll ever meet.)

 

He decides.

 

(I'm sorry, Haise. I don't think I ever really knew anything more than you did...)

 

He determines.

 

(...except...)

 

He concludes.

 

(...I felt so, so lonely without him...)

 

He learns.

 

(...I don't want to be alone anymore...)

 

He accepts.

 

(...Did you know that rabbits can die from loneliness?)

 

He falls.

 

(I'm sorry, Sasaki Haise.)

 

He dies.

 

(I forgive you, Kaneki Ken.)

 

He starts the game again. 

**Author's Note:**

> This might be the last thing I write until after the exams are over. Until then I will be writing chapters of whatever works I have and studinv for the 20 off exams I have. Good luck to those who too have to suffer with the touture with me.
> 
> What did you guys think of the midnight plot bunny???


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